It has been over 2 months since my last post and once again we have been on a fast track of change. Dad was in rehab, barely able to stay awake for his PT each day. We kept hearing, your dad was a really sick man and it will take a long time for him to recover. He finally began to be more awake after about a month in rehab. Our entire family (20+ people from as far away as Texas) meet in Florida for one glorious week of R&R each summer. Mom & Dad have always gone and the kids, spouses, grandkid, great grand kids....all meet in 4 condo's and just relax. This year we knew mom could not go and dad was in rehab trying to get better and he was not able to go. Do we cancel our trip or do we go and get some much needed R&R? If we went what do we do with mom? We were so torn and really had no idea what to do or what was best. We thought about taking mom with us but we knew that would not be the R&R we needed...she needs 24/7 care. We looked into respite care and visited several places. I can not believe some of the places we visited and how awful they seemed. We found a place that had room for mom but respite was a minimum of 3 weeks. Mom wanted none of that and had decided she was not going and wanted to stay at home by herself. We told her that she was afraid to be alone at night and she had no one to fix her meals while we were gone. Dad's PT was coming to an end at his facility and sure enough they discharged him from the facility the day before we left on vacation. He was able to stay at that facility as private pay and we had scrambled that week and were able to get him into an assisted living facility close to their home. He could move in the Monday after we returned from vacation. We took my mom to another assisted living facility for her respite.....she was so upset that we were leaving her there and she did not know anyone. It was an awful scene and heartbreaking. My sister and I left her that afternoon feeling like awful adult children.
We did have a very restful and relaxing week at the beach. Calling to check on both of them while we were away. Mom was not participating in any activities but just kept telling them she wanted to go home. Dad was fine but he was not doing his exercises on his own like he promised us he would. The weekend we arrived home we decided to go see mom but the facility told us it would be better not to visit as she would want to leave with us. We are so thankful that my sister had a friend who visited mom nearly everyday while we were gone and kept her company. Mom did not know her but loved having someone to talk to. When we returned we also started preparing mom for a move to the same facility with my dad but in her own room. About the time everything was in place for that move.....disaster struck. My husband fell down some concrete steps and broke his hip. Now I was out of the loop helping with the move and it fell on my brother and sister to handle it alone. They did an awesome job pulling together and getting it handled while I made my daily trek to downtown Atlanta to the hospital. Of course once he came home, it was still hard for me to do anything else other than care for him. Thankfully that is now 4 weeks behind us and he is doing well. He has progressed in his PT to learning how to use a cane this week. Still using a walker but learning how to use the cane.
Dad is still having PT but HE is ready to go home but still not physically ready to take care of himself at home. He feels he will be able to care for mom as soon as he goes home....we know that he will not be able to. Mom is on the wait list for memory care and dad does not understand why he can't take care of her and she will have to stay. She is adjusting slowly but is dad's shadow all day long. He would rather not participate in the 'silly' activities as he calls them but we tell him mom needs the stimulation. It is tough when both parents need some 'assistance' and neither parent wants it. We just keep plugging along and doing the best we can. We do not know what the future holds but we know who holds our future. God has been there with us all the way. Without Him, I would have probably fallen in deep despair.
PS---Yesterday afternoon my husband and I were out for a quick drive to the grocery store and were in a wreck. Thankful God's hand was on us and we were not hurt....the car has significant damage but it can be fixed.
