Our family made it through Christmas and into a new year. We have had one new addition to the family, Hudson Thomas Waits and found out we are expecting another addition sometime in late summer. Congratulations to both families.
Mom has settled into her daily routine at the memory care facility. Christmas was especially hard on all of the family this year.....we have memories from previous years and knew that the party would not go like it had in years past. Mom was able to come celebrate with the family on Christmas Eve for a couple of hours. With a family celebration that included 18 adults, 3 teenagers and 3 kids under 5 it was a rousing party. The two adult granddaughters kept her company and talked with her during the party. She did not seem to understand what was going on and why so many people were coming and going. She opened her presents but did not understand it was Christmas. She knew we were people that were familiar to her but she never recognized anyone to call them by name, not even dad (her husband of 64 years). That was hard on him when he realized she did not know who he was. He was able to kiss her on her hand when she left the party but there was no recognition in her face.
We have just passed our 3rd year milestone into this journey and boy what a difference in mom. Her close up vision is very limited. She has a hard time at meals trying to find the food on her plate and maneuver the utensils and glass. Other people have said this disease is like an age regression, their memory goes back to a 'safe' time in their life and then their abilities regress also. I see it as different phases.....teenager (she had a time when she was angry and aggressive), child like, toddler like and I am sure we will see infant like.
I know that many people are facing this disease with their loved ones and you just have to cherish each visit with them. Sometimes she is looking for her parents and is restless and sometimes she will give you a smile when she sees you but she doesn't remember who you are. She wants to 'go home' which we know is another common request from patients with Alzheimer's. BUT 'home' is not where they lived just a few months ago....home is back in their memory bank of good times from many years ago. She wants to see the people she remembers best--her parents. They loved and cared for her during the years before she was married. That is her safe place.
My prayer is that for one small moment she will recognize dad, me, my sister, my brother or any of the grand kids....just someone. If you have read the book or seen the movie THE NOTEBOOK, you know what I am talking about. For all of you with this same prayer, one day it will happen....maybe not on this earth but when we get to heaven all disease will be gone and my mom will remember. We love you mom!
