I can see a further decline with mom every time I visit. Our conversations now are mom talking but rarely making any sense. Her sentences are words just jumbled together but she is still able to enjoy the visit. I always take her out in the garden area because she has always loved sitting outside. Now the flowers (in her mind) take on shapes of people or things out in the garden.
In a recent visit she was repeating the same word over and over......paper. I had no idea what she was trying to say but just listened to her voice and would nod and say "really?" every now and then. I decided to take her for a ride to distract and redirect her attention...it helped. We drove around Tucker and she said these houses were beautiful and that she had never lived in a house so nice. I then told her about our house where I grew up and shared some of my memories from that home. I told her after I got married they moved to Tucker and she had a beautiful home that she shared with her husband and her other two children. I related some of our 'holiday' memories that we had shared in that home, but it did not seem to register. When we returned to NLG, we listened to some of the old hymns and she sang along with Amy Grant's Holy, Holy, Holy.....she knew every word.
Moving mom to memory care was one of the hardest things we have had to do....dad wanted her home but he knew that he could not take care of her 24/7 and the kids could help but could not provide the constant care that she needs. She would not take care of her personal hygiene when we tried to help her. In her mind she had just done that. Dad's hospital stay last year, opened our eye about how much dad was doing for her and hiding it from us. Mom is content in memory care and does not 'miss' home. Before she moved into memory care, she did not understand where she was (in her home) and was always asking to 'go home'. She did not know where home was but it was not where she currently was living. In the mind of a person with AD they want to go back to a 'safer' time, where they knew what was going on around them. She wants to be with people she remembers from many years back. She still asks when her mom and dad are going to be home and we have to use our best 'fiblet' and just say later.
This disease is truly awful and until you experience it I know it must be hard for you to imagine. Our mom has gone from being the one we could question about her famous macaroni and cheese recipe to one we sit and visit with...holding her hand and cherishing the time spent together. Memories we hold dear are no longer part of mom's memory.....she does not remember her children, grands or her husband. Mom and Dad were married 65 years on July 22 but she did not remember it. What a grand party we could have had to celebrate their lives together. Now, we are just people who come to visit her.....I hope that she understands how much we love her. I wish there were a magic pill to restore her memory but there is nothing out there and she just rolls along day to day. We love you mom.
